labels
I saw an old friend yesterday. While we were catching up on each other’s lives I mentioned my past crush on cg. My friend totally just listened, asked questions, and responded as if I’d told her about a crush on a man. Shortly after that I jokingly said, “well, I guess I’ve come out”. We laughed and it was casual and I couldn’t have asked for a better response from a friend. I was feeling pretty good about myself and the whole coming out process in general.
Later in the day I was hanging out with friends whom I’ve already come out to. Friends that I trust and really have no fear about talking about any of this with. I was telling them the story above and one asked if I’d figured out what I identify as (bisexual or lesbian). I completely avoided the question. It’s not that I was afraid of judgement or anything negative at all. Part of it was that maybe I don’t have the answer yet. Sometimes I think I do. I’m not really attracted to men at all. Other times I’m confused and not sure what label fits me best.
And all of this has gotten me thinking about labels. I’m not a big fan of labels, in general. I think they can be helpful in a number of situations, but I also think they can be harmful. I think they serve to put people in boxes a lot of times. Even if the label fits, what happens when the person steps outside of that box? Why do we as a society, and as individuals, feel the need to label everyone and everything?
lesbiansaidwhat Said:
on May 6, 2008 at 2:58 pm
People label things so they can understand them. No one likes to buy a can of pears and find out it’s really peas. At the same time what if the peas look like peas but tast like pears then what the hell are they? Just make up another label: p.p pears or something.
I’m not a huge fan of labels myself. People have made a guessing game out of what ethnicity I could be. I’ve reached the point where I’m just like which ever one you have the most disdaine for.
Hang in there. Be you. I’ve learned to reply to the above guesses as: I’m just me. I tend to let the peices fall where they may. I like surprises…hence I like where I work. People label the kids as tough, agressive, issues, low functioning…but they are brilliant in so many ways…if they lived up to those labels I’d leave my job.
meg Said:
on May 6, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Yeah I agree. I think that’s part of my problem with labels is that people sometimes feel the need to “live up” to whatever society says that label means. Does more damage than good…